Today I think was definitely easier than yesterday, just because it seems easier to incorporate things I've already written into the overall finished product.
Writing the apology seemed easier than it actually was, though. We don't exactly 'apologize' in my house. When you try to apologize, the other person tends to stay a little angry no matter what. You can forgive mostly, but you can never forget. And we can't forget how angry what the other person did made us. Every time we fight it just builds up and reeks of subtext, so I had to make things more open without being corny. We all hold things against each other, so I had to find a way that seemed like it could happen while still trying to abide by the 'rules'.
There's not a lot I want to say about this whole project that I didn't cover yesterday, to be honest. Sitting next to Emily while working and having her look over and make comment snippets really helped me keep going. I thought I would like writing the indirect apology more, but I ended up dragging through it and that was ridiculously annoying.
This is such a boring blog post. But today was just very monotone for me. It was easy enough to get done and in the end I just want to get over it and not have to read it again because every time I do my eyes tear up and I get pissed. Maybe that's why I don't want to talk about it. But I'm not certain.
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