I am currently working on a movie. What first started out purely as a writing project has somehow gained enough horse-power in my mind to warrant a visual medium equivalent. A few months ago, Luke was trying to get me to film a movie without any background and put meaning to it as I went. Looking back on it, it was torture. In the moment, I was okay with being frenzied and worried because that's what I was used to, to be honest, but now I realize that having no backstory just made me anxious. I need to feel some connection to what I'm doing in order to get it done. Even when I'm older and given projects I'll hate, I'll find a way to put my own stamp on it if it's the last thing I do or else I just won't be able to produce a final product. I'm rather stubborn, even when I don't mean to be.
Anyways, the film started out with me blabbering on about light and dark. I find how people interpret these things quite interesting and ultimately quite different than my own ideas. I started out trying to make each line short, under 140 characters, in a short-lived attempt to turn it into a twitter monologue. That has lead to a bit of my dialogue sounding a bit cheesy and rather serious in order to get to the point quickly. If you have spent five minutes talking to me, I just don't talk like that. (Getting to the punch line has always been a difficult task when I can't stop questioning WHY the monkey walked into the bar. (Was it of his own accord? Is this legal?)) I talk like half of my thoughts are meant to be in parenthesis. MOVING FORWARD. I spent quite a few days rewriting all of my notes and putting everything on one piece of paper. Giving myself that time was kind of necessary, I've realized, because that kind of intense OCD organization is something I really enjoy doing. I love filing things down, which I don't really get a chance to do anymore. Lex and I have shared our room her entire life, and she still hasn't figured out how I organize the closet. Also, my iTunes library is pristine. I once spent seven hours straight just sitting and finding out the years songs were released and their track positions etc. Bottom line, I'm broke, someone hire me to clean their house or something. I'd be down.
On Saturday I finally got to filming with Sarah, which a fifth of what I wanted to do couldn't be filmed due to the weather. Tomorrow I'll be working with Matt and Emily for a quick bit, which shouldn't prove too difficult at all seeing as they're lovely. The only problems I face is that I hate bossing people around. I swear, I wish on a daily basis I could communicate telepathically. I was taught to respect people and never put yourself above anyone and I've taken that to heart everyday. This is an insane problem with filming. I don't feel more important, even though I'm the only one who knows what we're doing. I should take public speaking. Or have a child. I need to learn how to be bossy.
That is probably the worst concluding idea I've ever had. It's one forty AM and I'm sorry.
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