Stupid Vinyl Couch

So while my currently being sick might be a nuisance, I want to put up my reasoning as to how this happened, how you can keep this from happening to yourself, and what to do if this ever happens to you.

So to start, I went up to my cabin over the weekend which lead to me sleeping on the comfiest surface possible (the beige vinyl couch, not the bed my parents paid for) which lead to my allergies acting up WHICH LEAD TO A SINUS INFECTION. DUHDUHDUH.

1. I prefer the vinyl coach because I prefer sleeping with cool feet, not warmth which comes from beds and all their loveliness.

2. My allergies enjoy taunting me.

3. My allergies are evil and gave me lots of stuff stuck in my face which (I believe) led to my friggin' sinus infection. )

Well how can you keep this from happening to you? The only thing I can think of is if you have parents who enjoy 'The Wealth of Nature'/Bullshit, get emancipated. Sure, you may be homeless, but at least there's no vinyl couch in the way. AND THINK OF ALL OF THE BENEFITS OF LIVING ON THE STREET.

• Prostitution, drugs, std's, Jail (think of it as free housing, but still no vinyl couches), actors looking to improve their craft by method acting, rich snob children trying to 'break away' from their parents... See, these kids know about the dangers of Expensive couches.

I know all of this because of Law and Order : Special Victims Unit, and they always turn out okay!... Wait, no....

SO. Now you didn't take my (misguided) advice and now you're sick as well!
What can you do.... Oh Wait! I made a list!

• Do your Homework Look around your house for strange memorabilia.
  I found a Family Crest post card, some Edinburgh Salt and Pepper shakers, giant crystal containers of alcohol, anchor book ends, an unhealthy amount of painted ceramic plates on walls, a buch of recipe books that no one uses, an entire shelf of encyclopedias, and a rag-tag bunch of photographs from my parent's respective childhoods.
• Teach your Puppy who is scared of heights how to climb stairs.
• Do your Homework Watch videos of Animals giving birth
  Live snake birth is the scariest, Dog birth looks the least painful.
• Watch Dancing with the Stars
  COME ON. IT ISN'T THAT BAD
  CHAZ BONO THIS SEASON WHOOOOOO
  AND NANCY GRACE! WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK.
• Do your Homework See how long you can sleep at one time.
• Create lists of things to do next time you're sick.
• And maybe, just maybe, Do your Homework reorganize your bookshelves. They deserve it.