Queen of Bitter Seas

Writing is like living. I say "like" because it's a simile and not definitively true. Writing is not living because writing is how you wish it had gone, how you pictured it going, never the way the world plays things out because in the end, perspective would change any situation.

I don't like school because it's not about being alive. I realized that about five minutes ago. School is about how well you can memorize things and follow exact orders and follow societal norms. I find progressive schools fascinating because they believe in passion, like I do. School is still school though.

I suppose I'm intelligent. I've been told it before, and I think I believe it, but it always sounds pretentious to describe yourself as such. I read in a book recently that knowledge and intelligence are different things, and I believe it. You're born with intelligence and knowledge is something acquired. Something worked towards. I've always wanted to be knowledgable, and I think I am on some things, but I have trouble putting some of the things I know into action.

I'm not good at school. I understand it, or I should say I understand what I'm supposed to do. But I let passion be my excuse. "I don't want to do things I'm not passionate about." Once you let yourself think this way, it feels impossible to extract yourself from it. I like to think I'm trying. I like to.

I read four books last week. That isn't nearly as many as I wish I had, but I hadn't read a book in the longest time beforehand either so I shouldn't really discourage myself for it. I'm a fast reader. I blazed through them, soaking them up, and now they're about all I've really been thinking about. That happens to me a lot. I hop from one obsessive concept to another.

They force me to write. I haven't gone through the packet on inspiration yet, but lately I've been noticing myself being influenced constantly. Through books, through tv, through music. Before I read the four books, everything I'd been writing had been metaphysically covered in grease, denim, leather, and cigarette smoke. That was all coming from the latest Arctic Monkeys album, which I'm still not sick of after months of listening to one song or another daily. Yesterday I listened through the entire album in one sitting, making the latest mark on an innumerable timeline.

I've been writing again. After reading those four books, instead of smoke I've been more influenced by water. Two favorite quotes of mine that have been looping through my stream of consciousness lately are "Love me or leave me" (when I think of it, it's the translated line in the French-Canadian film, Les Amours Imaginaires, although I obviously know it's an incredibly famous line in general) and "The ocean is six miles deep" (honestly, when am I not thinking about this quote). Everything in my head is about water. Last night I went for a walk in the rain. I love the rain. I needed to get out of my house and just let myself believe I was being re-baptized. Since it's raining now, I feel clearer. Cleansed. It makes the air I breathe feel cleaner.

I hope the juxtaposition of water and fire in my head right now might help me balance out, and ultimately guide me into a level-headed playing field.

These Words Came from My Brain - Birthday Post

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm turning seventeen. Those are facts.

tw: I wasn't going to post this. It's in my normal writing fashion. It's for me more than for anyone else.
I also took this down a few hours ago but now it's back up, so take that as you will.

Submarine

My blog title, "The Ocean is Six Miles Deep", is a quote from my favorite coming-of-age film, which is also in my top five favorite films of all time list. Submarine. It's a British/Welsh film directed by Richard Ayoade in his directorial debut. In an interview he did on the film, he talked about how there hasn't really been that many British coming-of-age films in the past decade or so, and what films he ended up using as inspiration in lieu of that.

Submarine, which is an adaption of the novel by Joe Dunthorne, can easily come off as indubitably pretentious and flouncy. In reality, or at least, in my opinion, what can make the film seem pretentious is that it takes a lot from classic French films, and relies heavily on imagery and an air of nostalgia. It's also quite expressionistic, so I suppose the fact that it isn't so literal could turn people off. The soundtrack, which is mellow beyond belief, was done by Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys and could get me through hell and high water.

The film is about Oliver Tate, a fifteen-year-old boy who can't find his place, has become infatuated with a girl in his class, and who takes it upon himself to fix his parent's marriage. It's witty, it's visually stunning, it's hilarious, and it's on Netflix.

Here's the trailer:

Scenes from the Film:

And "The Anatomy of a Scene" narrated by Richard Ayoade

Casimir Pulaski Day

Today, March 3rd, is Casimir Pulaski Day. Casimir Pulaski was a Revolutionary War Veteran and Hero, and is known as "the father of the American Calvary."

In Illinois today, they got out of school because it's a state recognized holiday in honor of his birthday.

The reason I know about this holiday is because of one of my favorite songs is "Casimir Pulaski Day" by Sufjan Stevens. I've talked about Stevens before, and this was the first song I ever heard by him.

I found this article about the song on The Weeklings in a segment called "Song Beneath the Song". It explains the song section by section, explaining that it's a song told through the perspective of an adolescent boy and the girl he likes, who has been diagnosed and dies of Bone Cancer.

Now, I've known and loved this song since 2011, and the article actually pointed out symbolic things I hadn't previously realized. I always just let the song exist with me, and I see how wrong that was now.
Lex was telling me the other day that before she listened to the new Panic! at the Disco album, "Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die!", she did extensive research on it. I can't remember the last time I got that knee-deep in a song. It was probably another Sufjan tune actually, "The Mistress Witch of McClure (or, The Mind that Knows Itself)". I think that's just a testament how great Sufjan Stevens is, though, because music that makes you both think and feel is the kind of music I want to experience. And he really is an experience.